“Wala kayong kimono?” the instructor asked.
“Kimono? Ano ‘to Memoirs of a Geisha?” I
answered. Of course I did not. Would I risk losing a limb after being
mauled by our instructor on the first day for being sarcastic? Of course
not! My brother and I attended the first day wearing jogging pants
because we do not have the kimono yet which is also called a Gi
(pronounced “gee”). It is different from a Tae Kwon Do uniform in that
it is thicker because you actually use it to grab your opponent.
Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is a modification of the original Japanese martial art. It developed in Brazil, which is why it’s called Brazilian, the logic of which is similar to why Makati Med is called as such. In this type of martial art your main purpose is to mount your opponent, which means you have to immobilize him or her until submission is reached. The mount is kind of weird and funny because at first glance it looks like a scene from a porno movie.
We
started with warm ups and since we are new to this sport we just tagged
along and imitated the rest. There were around 11 of us, two of which I
assume were the instructors since they were the ones who taught us the
basics. They started jogging around the room and so we started jogging
too. They started galloping and so we started galloping as well. I was
giggling because I thought the situation was funny. Here I am almost
done with all the “work and no play” life I’ve been in and now I am
galloping with people I barely know.
When
they started rolling on the floor head first I stopped giggling. Okay?
Now that’s fun! After a few cartwheels and semi back flips the warm up
was done. It was still funny because my brother was looking at me as if
trying to ask me “Do we really have to do that?!” He did it anyway.
Some
floor exercises were next in line where we did the usual stretching
stuff. We were divided into partners and of course my brother was my
partner. Your partner pushes you until you reach your stretching limit.
He kept on asking me, “Kaya mo pa ba?” to which I responded, “Kaya ko yan no, ako pa! Contortionist ‘to no.” After the stretching the others started tackling each other.
Since
we are new we were taught how to mount each other at first and how to
prevent getting overthrown by the opponent. If you are the one being
mounted your ultimate goal is to escape. If you are the one mounting
your ultimate goal is to immobilize the other one. It was kind of
boring. Since we don’t have our uniform yet we can’t really grab and try
to strangle one another. What’s fun is that it seems very normal to
say, “Sakalin mo nga ako dali,” and “Sige nga try mo baliin yung braso ko.”
Fun! I think the best lesson of the day was on how to try and dislocate
the arm of the person you are mounting. Did I say fun? Fun!
If
you are into Brazilian Jiu Jitsu for self defense I suggest you do Muay
Thai instead. I think the chance of getting shot by an armed holdaper
is actually higher than your chance of getting him to the ground to
dislocate his shoulder. On the contrary I recommend this sport to all
rapists out there. Since most of the action is done on the ground I
think the techniques will be very effective. I’m not encouraging rape. I
just can’t find any practical application for this sport. But it’s fun
anyway. You don’t actually harm your opponent; just get him or her to
surrender. Passive in a way. Pictures next week. =p
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