20 Realizations That Crossed My Mind Today

(1) Money can’t buy happiness, or maybe you just don’t have enough time to shop. Make time.

(2) A slut studded with diamonds from head to toe is still a slut, unless she’s actually a mutant who can also do mind control, which makes her super cool.

(3) Every villain has an interesting story to tell, but that doesn’t change the fact that he’s an insufferable jerk.

(4) The world will screw you over from time to time. Remember that you always have the option to return the favor.

(5) When life gives you lemons, make lemonade, but keep in mind that it’s the milkshake that brings all the boys to the yard, and they’re like...

(6) People who love being chased are usually not worth it. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

(7) You are fucking awesome, in fact more than you give yourself credit for. Own it.

(8) Unless you’re the head of a family that will starve if you slow down, working more than 60 hours a week is plain social suicide.

(9) Life is like a box of chocolates. It could give you diabetes.

(10) Compete with yourself. No other fan could be more supportive. No other critic could be more vicious. No other rival could be more tenacious.

(11) Pain, whatever form it takes, is just life’s way of preparing you for mastering the art of numbness. Embrace it, and take Ibuprofen when necessary.

(12) The best venue to unleash pent-up emotions is a KTV room at two in the morning. A membership card makes everything cheaper in the long run.

(13) An everyday guilty pleasure you would find hard to regret is a good nap.

(14) Daydreaming is fun alright, but make sure that you are well-equipped to vanquish the lurking demons of reality after the sun sets.

(15) There’s an appropriate setting for thinking that every pressing issue is a matter of life and death. It’s called high school, and it ended more than a decade ago.

(16) People who hate skinny jeans are usually the ones who do not fit in them. If your ass could rock it, then by all means, flaunt it.

(17) Life’s a bitch. It will play with you. It will be cute. Heck, it will even give you rabies, but at the end of the day whether to buy Alpo at the nearest SM Hypermarket would still be up to you.

(18) Sometimes the most effective antidote to a quick bout of depression comes in the form of a 48元 platter of filleted beef and fried potatoes at Green Olives.

(19) There’s always a hidden layer somewhere, and people who don’t scratch beneath the surface are certified morons whose idiocy merits a good laugh.

(20) Some people are born beautiful. Many are just born. While many would complain that life is unfair, it’s really just a case of genetic lottery. The perks related to good looks would fade with the passing of time, but a loaded debit card with a Cirrus or Maestro logo would always be accepted by most ATMs around the world.